EFFECTIVELY DRINK LARGE QUANTITIES OF LAGERNo, I won't 'down it' - I'm full of bubbles and I need a nap. I'll have a vodka and cranberry or a gin and tonic, and you'll let me drink it without sneering. We live in a world where fully grown men are seemingly allowed to drink booze-infused panda pop in public without being immediately exiled from society or thrown into a fiery pit, so letting me off for not sticking strictly to beer doesn't seem too much to ask, frankly.
It's not a major problem, but I think everyone knows one of these people. The kind of people who'll ask you what you want to drink, scrunch up their face, and come back grinning - handing over two pints of lager before heartily slapping you on the back. There always seems something vaguely insidious about this enforced encouragement to BE A MAN, leaving me wondering if beneath the surface of society there's some kind of FHM funded secret society bubbling away.
But anyway - Admittedly, the fact that you can drink two pints in the time it takes me to finish one does make me less of a man, but that's only because I'm one seriously svelte motherfucker.
So down that, chubba-chubba-chub-chub-chubs.
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